A pattern is developing.  Each night when the girls go to bed Josh and I don’t know what to do with ourselves.  I think it might be exhaustion.  Because the minutes tick by and we can’t either decide or get motivated to do a thing and then it is 10 pm and we really have to think about going to sleep because the girls have been waking at 5:30ish….in the morning…ugh.  Then we might make it to bed by 11:30ish, which is not enough sleep.  But we hardly talk – mostly make to-do lists or stare into space trying to decipher our next move.  So much to get done as far as housework and cleanup.  So much to do for our careers.  So much to do….for fun.  I can’t hardly enjoy a movie even right now.  It is summertime blues…I am a winter person.  Summer knocks me out – I could live in 30 degree weather for the rest of my life.  I think I am a rarity, but maybe there are others out there.  All I know is we have each lost some of ourselves and have to find a way to focus.  Think I am approaching one of those 7 pm bedtime nights.  After I do that a couple nights in a row the world seems to make more sense.  I think we are so focused on those 15.5 month olds sleeping upstairs that when they are not in front of us it is hard to remember how to live…heh heh.  Okay, now I am not even making sense.  Hmmm…must be overtiredness.  It is 9:40 pm.  I am getting a book and going to bed.   I will have purpose again at 6:00 a.m. when I hear the first morning grunt…always from Jude’s side of the room.  I suppose one day when she is old enough to have a little coffee her and I will have at least an hour each morning to chat before Josh and Zoe get up.  Good night to you all and sweet dreams.

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