A pattern is developing.  Each night when the girls go to bed Josh and I don’t know what to do with ourselves.  I think it might be exhaustion.  Because the minutes tick by and we can’t either decide or get motivated to do a thing and then it is 10 pm and we really have to think about going to sleep because the girls have been waking at 5:30ish….in the morning…ugh.  Then we might make it to bed by 11:30ish, which is not enough sleep.  But we hardly talk – mostly make to-do lists or stare into space trying to decipher our next move.  So much to get done as far as housework and cleanup.  So much to do for our careers.  So much to do….for fun.  I can’t hardly enjoy a movie even right now.  It is summertime blues…I am a winter person.  Summer knocks me out – I could live in 30 degree weather for the rest of my life.  I think I am a rarity, but maybe there are others out there.  All I know is we have each lost some of ourselves and have to find a way to focus.  Think I am approaching one of those 7 pm bedtime nights.  After I do that a couple nights in a row the world seems to make more sense.  I think we are so focused on those 15.5 month olds sleeping upstairs that when they are not in front of us it is hard to remember how to live…heh heh.  Okay, now I am not even making sense.  Hmmm…must be overtiredness.  It is 9:40 pm.  I am getting a book and going to bed.   I will have purpose again at 6:00 a.m. when I hear the first morning grunt…always from Jude’s side of the room.  I suppose one day when she is old enough to have a little coffee her and I will have at least an hour each morning to chat before Josh and Zoe get up.  Good night to you all and sweet dreams.

Can’t get much cuter than this!

The weekends are very valuable.  The girls are so active now that it is almost impossible to stay home all day.  Josh and I love to take them to the store, the Children’s Museum, the Zoo, etc, etc.  This was a quick trip to the farmer’s market on Sunday down the street from us.  A few moments of freedom before we get back into the wagon.  Ironically as we were running around a mom passed us holding hands with her 3-year-old twin girls.  They looked soooo big!  Better hang onto these memories…they are fleeting.  Love my girls!

I have 15 month olds?!?!?!?!?

I started a post when Jude and Zoe were 13 months old.  I wrote 4 pages but never finished it or posted.  And now today marks 15 months, a major milestone.  Hmmm…makes sense now.  I was wondering why they seem like such little girls suddenly.  Evidently they are well on their way and mom’s not ready for it.  That explains why they can suddenly understand and respond to just about anything I say.  I was not expecting this so soon I guess.

Let’s talk about Zoe…

Zoe is a hilarious little girl.  I have said it all along and it is becoming more and more true.  She will look at you out of the corner of her eye without turning her head, and yet she still giggles because she thinks you don’t see her watching you.  She uses her peripheral vision to expertly escape the minute you reach for her to change her diaper or dress her.  She will frown at you, plead with you, whine at you, but also giggle and joke with you, and of course love you.  Zoe pushes limits a lot.  She knows what she should not do and when she goes and does it anyway she stops to wait for you to look right at her.  How polite.  I am happy to say that she went from being a full-time toy stealer and terrorizer of her sister to now playing more of a part-time role in that area.  She will kiss Jude throughout the day and bring her toys in between episodes of bullying.  No biting yet – please say we are going to escape that.  Zoe is for the most part a very happy child who has become the much more independent of the two…at least currently.  The tide will change.  She flirts with strangers everywhere we go – this is one smart kid.  She loves to play and talk to other kids.  One advantage to having a twin is that you are much more social at this age than a singleton would be.  There is little parallel playing going on…it is more in your face “play with me” playing…heh heh.  Zoe LOVES her stuffed animals still.  We have moved on from bunny…just left bunny in the dust.  The current companion is one of those blankets with a head – Zoe loves the monkey.  When we go to the Children’s Museum she gathers up as many of the stuffed animals as mommy will allow and stacks them beside me, coming back occasionally to hug them all before playing some more.  Zoe listens pretty well.  If I wrote a post just one month ago, I would be telling a different story, as my little girl went through some growing pains where she wouldn’t share, wouldn’t have anything to do with anyone else, and wouldn’t hardly leave my lap.  Amazing how fast kids change!  Zoe has 8 teeth broken through, with 6 that you can see well.  She does not like brushing her teeth yet…but we keep trying.  She is almost exclusively on whole milk now and still gets some formula day/night.  She had no problems switching – this girl loves to drink.  She makes mommy so proud.  Zoe can say lots of words.  My favorite is “cog” for dog.  She is very good at repeating and has begun to say some words on her own.  She is my little socialite with the great communication skills.  After she goes to bed, I am very tired, but before I go to bed I always think I wish I could just talk to her a little bit more…it’s like I wake up with this great present every day.  Love you Zoe!

Let’s talk about Jude…

Jude is still my little thinker.  The determination and focus Jude has when she wants to do something or examine a toy just blows our minds.  She is meticulous in her actions.  She will stand and gaze around the room, taking in everything and then deciding which toy she will go play with and conquer.  She will sit with books forever, turning the pages, pointing at pictures and just babbling.  Jude doesn’t initiate the goofiness, but she LOVES to part-take.  I see roles forming here.  When Zoe does stuff, Jude follows suit if she sees it creates laughter.  Jude loves to laugh, be tickled, and be hugged and loved.  She is the more sensitive one (for now) but she also has the greatest pain with teething.  Poor thing has had a horrible time of it – she has 5 teeth broken through and her gums are just bulging.  Jude does not like to sleep.  You have to force that child to get some rest.  She has never changed from day one in this regard.  She is so Josh – her mind is just going and going and going.  She works really hard at figuring out how to work toys, how to escape the play room, how to communicate.  Jude is the quieter of the two right now, but I just have this feeling that one day she will rattle off as much as Zoe.  Her learning style is so different, even at this age.  I really can’t wait until they are 2 and get to go to this preschool near us.  Jude especially is going to have so much fun.  Jude is very much mommy’s girl right now.  I think she is experiencing some night terrors and we make a quick trip upstairs it seems every night right now.  We just hug her and lay her back down and that seems to be all she needs.  During the day, she is always checking in with me.  She will stop playing, come give me a hug, then go back to playing.  It melts my heart actually.  She does have this bad habit for a few weeks of waking up at 5:30 am for the day.  But she enjoys her playtime in her crib until mommy is ready to get her between 6:30/7 am.  Jude has this look in her eyes like she is a much older child.  She will gaze at you with this slight smile – you really wish you could know what she was thinking.  She is my angel and I can’t wait to go grab her in the morning – every time we walk through the door she is standing in her crib.  Her arms immediately shoot out reaching for us and she starts grinning this big grin.  Even though she looks a lot like my family, her temperament and actions are the spitting image of Josh…it warms my heart.  Love you Jude!

Below are a few other observations I have at 15 months.  I am typing fast (girls are stirring upstairs) so literally these are the thoughts going through my head right now, and currently all day long:

• Both are still on a formula bottle when they get up and go to bed.  15 month appointment is coming up – hopefully we will be released from formula completely.  We are looking pretty solid and they both eat well.  During the day Zoe has sippies of whole milk, Jude does not yet – still practicing the taste, which she doesn’t care for.
• They eat well but since it has been hot have been a little more finicky.  They love to drink water so no worries there.  Some of their favorites are peas, carrots, tofu, avocado, pears, seasoned pasta, pancakes, and any kind of cheese.  And occasionally when we go out, they LOVE French fries of course.
• They both sign for eat, drink, thank you, milk, all done, and potty.  Zoe with more consistency than Jude.  But Jude will do it if she is hungry enough.  We don’t do a lot of signs, they are becoming so vocal I have kind of fallen off the wagon.
• They love bath time and sit together in the big tub.  Baths are so much easier than they used to be – yay!!!  They splash a ton…check out the video (from 14 mos.)
• They love their nanny Rachel who comes to the house 3 days a week.  I am proud of them during this transition…they sometimes cry when she leaves.
• They LOVE the Children’s Museum, and we go often.
• Sometimes they play this kissing game.  I don’t know how it starts…they just kiss constantly over and over and giggle.  It usually ends because they bop heads and start crying.
• They are sooooo monkey see, monkey do.  With each other, and with me.  So I have to be careful…they can do so much physically now.
• Zoe is getting fast, practically to a run now…Jude not far behind.
• They don’t love the baby pool yet…very cautious around it.  Of course I was hoping they would jump right in…heh heh.  Oh well, we will keep practicing.
• They hate being contained in the playroom and I am working furiously to figure out a plan for them to have more run of the house – but they never walk in the same direction…hardly ever.
• They love their grandma and grandpas and got to see them this month…it was so great and they seemed cranky the few days after they left.
• They absolutely LOVE Bo and he loves them so, so much.  If bath time is coming I let them play with him…he licks them to death as they dive onto his bed with him.  And for that matter, they seem to love all animals, even trying to kiss an iguana through the glass at the zoo…which was great until it moved and freaked them out…heh heh.
• They are really good to take out to dinner, so Josh and I have done it more often.  They are entertained by straws, water, food of course, but then always want to get down.  Of course they get a lot of stares…hey, they are cute girls and they work it!
• More than ever I am anxious to get together for playgroups so they can play with other kids…searching continually for friends!

So much more I can’t think of right now.  As for me, I have started a three day a week job.  It is going well…more on that to come but I have to go or I will be late!  Hope you all are well! – Betsy

(P.S. – I have a bunch of pictures to upload to smugmug.  I will be doing that shortly.  If you haven’t checked out our professional 1 year portraits, check out that gallery on the home page of www.maletz.smugmug.com)

Happy Birthday Jude Isabella and Zoe Ella – you are 1 year old!!!

Today Zoe and Jude turn 1 year old.  Today over coffee we were reminiscing over what we were doing 1 year ago today.  Hard to believe that 1 year ago today Josh and I were anxiously awaiting their pending arrival at 10:45 and 10:47 am.  So much of this year has been a blur, and yet so much is burned in my memory.  Some days we are still coming to grips with being parents, and now we are parents to 1 year-olds—funny how life works.  I am not really one to live in the past and I can honestly say although I feel a twinge of sadness that they are less baby, I am glad we made it to this point healthy and happy.  I look forward to the future because they just get more and more fun.  As I think back to this past year, many thoughts come to mind.  I thought I would share a few of them below in no specific order.  I could write a book:

• The three days we spent in the hospital was one of the most precious times for Josh and I ever.  We didn’t have to think about anything but our sweet babies (and sleeping) and were so taken care of by that great staff.  We felt such a closeness and comfort as a family as we just stared at them for hours.  Josh changed every diaper in the hospital as I focused on breastfeeding and recovering.  I still think of that short time when the world stopped and it makes me tear up even now.  Where many want to get home as soon as possible, we could have stayed there another week where someone brought us meals, answered questions, and provided great support so we could just focus entirely on this new, awesome experience of parenthood.  It was the great start that we needed as new parents.
• I remember coming home around 5 pm on their fourth day.  This is my least favorite time of day, and the stress of driving such tiny bodies in these big carseats for only 2 blocks was almost unbearable.  We got in the house, ordered Papa John’s, and I proceeded to cry as the panic set in that we were on our own.  I was scared to death.  At that point they weighed 4 lbs 9 oz and 4 lbs 14.5 oz.  Josh didn’t cry but shared a similar experience as we looked at each other and just hugged.  Then we took a deep breath and got to work.
• I remember sitting in the nursery holding them at 5 days old when I heard my mom arrive and run up the stairs.  She was so excited and it was so wonderful to have her here for two weeks to help us.  It was the support we needed. 
• A day later Josh’s mom and dad came in, soon followed by my father.  How wonderful to have all grandparents make a visit within their first days. 
• At 2.5 weeks old we had to say goodbye to my parents and Josh had been back to work for a week.  I don’t remember much about the next 6 weeks from there because frankly, we were in survival mode and it was pretty bad.  I remember calling Josh home from work early at least a couple of days.  We were literally getting no more than 2 hours sleep straight at any time of day.  I never knew the power of sleep deprivation and now I understand why it has been used for torture.  Most days were spent crying – the three of us.  Someone always hungry or wanting to be held and screaming while I worked with her sister.  I took turns wearing them in a wrap, but they didn’t like the twin hold so someone was always left out.  These by far for me were the hardest days for me.  From a biological standpoint, I didn’t expect to feel the way I did when my babies cried.  It still, to this day, puts a knot in my throat.  Luckily, it is easy to distinguish a certain temper cry now, which doesn’t make me feel as bad! 
• My friend Laura set up a schedule of helpers to come in and out for a few weeks…it was so thoughtful of her and so many jumped right in!  THANK YOU
• Thank goodness for my next door neighbor Summer.  Her daughter Ellie is 2.5 months younger and we hang out a lot!  I don’t know what I would have done without her support and friendship throughout this year.
• Jude had colic, and for the first 3 months Josh or I would pace the floor or bounce on the exercise ball with her, starting around 6 or 7 pm until 12 or 1 am before we got her to a consistently calm state.  Luckily she outgrew it by then.
• At the beginning of April my savior came in disguise as Matt Maletz, Josh’s brother.  Josh’s mom came for 2 weeks to visit and instead of returning with her, Matt offered to stay and help me with Zoe and Jude.  He stayed with us until Memorial Day-almost 2 months!  He watched videos with me on how to sooth and burp babies, took walks with us, and basically did everything I asked of him….changed diapers, bounced babies, took Bo to the dog park, cooked dinner, and so much more.  I called him nanny Matt.  And I got used to asking him to do a lot.  He never once complained even though I know I must have gotten on his nerves, sometimes telling him how to do something or hold a baby if I wasn’t satisfied with his technique.  It was a difficult time for me, as I wanted to do it all myself but I had to realize that it was better that a baby wasn’t sitting alone.  I will be forever grateful to Matt and I guarantee I didn’t thank him enough or appreciate him enough until after the house with silent again with his departure.  He made a huge sacrifice for us.
• I am grateful to being able to call my sister and sister-in-law to cry and complain when I needed someone to tell me it will get better…heh heh.
• Except for highway traveling, the girls screamed in the car from start to finish until 4 months old.  We didn’t make it a habit to go out much beyond walks in the park.
• I remember from just weeks old Jude LOVED to be pulled to a standing position and was so mighty.  I think the colic helped her tummy muscles grow super strong.
• We made our first successful cross-country trip when they were 7.5 weeks old.  My mom and I took the train out and Josh and I drove back.  It was a success!
• From about 12 weeks to about 4.5 months Zoe and Jude took a consistent 3 hour nap from 9 am – 12 noon in their swings.  We loved those swings!  It was awesome while it lasted.
• At 4 months old the girls and I were diagnosed with H1N1 – Josh never got it so we assume he is one of the lucky ones with immunity.  Took Zoe to ER with 105 degree temperature…the scariest moment this year.
• Somewhere between 6-8 months I accidentally let Jude roll off a bench in the mall while changing her diaper.  She was fine – not even a bump or bruise – but I freaked!
• 5-7 months were tough months during the day because the girls wanted to be active but could only do so much, so they were very frustrated all day long.
• At 7.5 months Zoe started sleeping consistently through the night.
• At 10 months Jude started sleeping consistently through the night.
• Breastfeeding stopped at 10 months, but it was a journey man!  I never felt in love with breastfeeding the way some women describe.  I was happy to do it for them, although pumping was a pain, and I felt a little guilty not making it to a year, but that feeling left me easily after a couple weeks.  Zoe was never a problem until right before she weaned (the biting), Jude was a constant battle of nursing strikes, distractibility, bottle preference, etc.  But we did it!
• I remember the first time I came in the nursery and saw Jude standing up in the crib – I remember the chill that went down my back. J
• I remember both times vividly when the girls each crawled and pulled up by themselves—although that now seems so long ago.  Specifically I remember when Zoe could finally sit on her own…I was so happy for her and she was so proud.
• More than individual milestones such as rolling, crawling, walking, etc, I remember how they have figured out how to grab things with their fingers, play patty cake, figure out how a toy worked after having it for months, etc.  I love the little moments of babbling and watching them interact…one favorite is them playing peek-a-boo with each other and giggling.
• Loved when we started feeding them cereal and now food is one of my most difficult challenges.  They have some issues with textures fed from a spoon and eat painfully slow when they eat only finger food.  The pressure is on for me to step it up in getting this figured out as well figuring out transitioning from the bottle to sippy cups.  Fun times.
• I remember the doctor appt at 9 mos when Jude had fallen off of her weight curve…up until that point she had been doing great.  She has a tiny build though and evidently a very high metabolism.  The girl drinks 24+ ounces of formula a day and eats 3 meals and 3 snacks.  I wish I could do that!  I have high hopes that we will land back on track on Friday at our 12 month.  She has always been alert and happy, and she walked at 9 months, so most likely she will just be of tiny frame but we will be keeping an eye on her.
• Zoe is a toy stealer…and watching her is kind of a crack up.  She is also a total goofball and a smart little dickens…before she does something bully-like she looks to make sure I am watching and then lets out this big grin.
• Jude is sooooo lovable.  And could sit and read books all day if I was willing – I do as much as I can…heh heh.
• They love Blues Clues, and incidentally, so do I!
• We drove to Chicago for Thanksgiving and Christmas.  And we just completed our first flights to Chicago last week.  These girls are great travelers!
• We won’t soon forget the many, many nights we have rocked these darlings to sleep.  Now we take a few minutes to rock and give Eskimo kisses and they go to bed on their own, chatting a while before going to sleep.
• First teeth for Jude finally came at 10 months old.  Zoe just broke a couple through on March 4^th.
• We tried early on to set a schedule with twins…it didn’t work and I adjusted to their demands.  Now we are on a schedule…they just needed to get a little older I guess.
• I will forever be obsessed with sleep, specifically nap patterns, with these girls.  I have read almost every book out there.  Josh and I are terrible sleepers, and I am determined to do everything I can to help them be good at this.
• I love when they get excited to see each other after they both wake from naps.
• I love that first peep in the morning when Jude wakes up and then tries to wake up Zoe by saying “Hi” a hundred times.  Jude ALWAYS wakes first.
• I love watching Josh with the girls…he is a great dad now of course but his shining time is in the future…I know it…they are going to be inseparable. 

 

I could keep writing but these were just the initial stream of conscious thoughts that come to mind right now, and this blog will serve one of its purposes when I go to finally fill in those baby books!  What an amazing first year we have had.  I feel so close to my little girls, and they are growing up so fast.  They have unique little personalities now and it is so awesome to get to be their mom.  Josh was just saying last night that they were really “something else.”  They have really touched us beyond words. 

 

We look forward to a lot of new adventures this year.  I have already witnessed a brief preview of tantrums, talking, wanting to help put on their clothes, walking, etc.  I have a feeling this will be a very fast year.  Thank you to all of you who have followed Zoe and Jude this year.  Please check out some pictures taken yesterday and today at www.maletz.smugmug.com in the recent picture gallery and a short video below.  Love to you all, Betsy (Zoe & Jude)

8 days and counting…

We are getting close to turning 1.  I am trying not to get too emotional.  We have lots of things going on…including our first plane trip, new teeth (finally) and other happenings…look for a 1 year post coming up very soon.  In the meantime, see lots of great new pics from the last few days posted at www.maletz.smugmug.com.  A taste below…

11 months and counting…

Zoe and Jude are speeding toward 1 year….ahhhh!  The house is crazy busy.  Toys everywhere, girls everywhere.  Zoe took her first steps last Sunday a couple days shy of 11 mos old.  She is very proud and now stands and practices all the time.  Her record is about 5 steps before falling.  In Zoe fashion, she is starting to put herself to a stand from nothing but the ground.  Jude took a while to get to that point but she is very methodical.  Zoe just watches and goes for it.  I wonder how telling this will be in the future.  It seems I have two real little girls more than babies now.  Pretty unbelievable.  I am happy to report they are getting along better now.  Zoe still steals toys but Jude stands her ground and they seem to reach these amicable playing agreements and move on.  I have a LOT of toys…and they manage to drag them all out in no time.  I need to get an organization system together sooner than I thought I guess…heh heh. 

We just made it through a round of another nasty viral infection…this time causing incredibly loose stools…ugh…on Wednesday I changed Jude 25 times with 9 blowouts…I am happy to report that today she seems back to her “regular” self.  The shock you get becoming a parent is one thing, add sickness to that and you grow superpowers you never thought were in you.

I am venturing out for a part-time job…more to get out a little and interact with the world than to make money.  Looks like I may work at Gymboree…a children’s clothing store.  Just a couple nights a week and it will only be stock, so I show up with some other mothers to change out displays in the store.  It is a pretty cake position and I hope to get it today or tomorrow.  More excited than I thought I would be.  I am going to use the money to buy fun things and to pay for that occasional babysitter, which I have started to shop around for. 

On a personal note, I jogged 3 miles last Saturday for the first time in my life….ever.  The most I had ever ran is 1 mile in HS for a fitness test.  I don’t enjoy running, but I did enjoy finishing the loop in the park and dreaming that I was crossing the line at the Chicago marathon with my family cheering me on….rah rah rah…collapsing in a pile of tears of accomplishment.  Oh wait, where am I.  Oh yeah, writing this blog.  By the time I walked home I changed my mind…no current interest in running a marathon.  Baby steps.

Anyway, just thought I would post a short blurb and check in.  Hope you all are well – check out some new video below.  The first is Jude getting a “call from Grandma”.  The second is us goofing around in the rocking chair in the nursery. Also, a few new pics posted on www.maletz.smugmug.com.  See ya!

Christmas come and gone…

A couple momentos.  The Christmas cards I got printed but never sent…and adorable ornaments my friend Vonda gave the girls for their first Christmas.  Too cute not to post!  New pics posted from today on www.maletz.smugmug.com.

Where the heck have we been…and other happenings…

I have started writing a post many times but for some reason I cannot type a sentence without tearing up.  I think it is because I do not want to acknowledge by telling our story that my babies are growing up.  But I do want to talk to you all so I will be brave and write this through my tears. 

Josh and I knew we would have two children and be done if we were lucky enough to get pregnant, but the two of us can understand now why some people crave more after saying they would stop at a certain number.  This topic came up in a recent 1,000-mile car trip, our second from Chicago in less than a month.  We were trying to remember what Zoe and Jude looked like in our arms at 4 weeks old and we could only visualize them as they look now.  Thank goodness for pictures and video but we really wanted to remember the feeling of their little tiny 5 lbs bodies…and we simply cannot.  In my opinion, the pros of having multiples far outweigh the cons (not that there is a con really to having any child) and I do feel truly blessed, which people always tell me, and I do agree wholeheartedly, but there is a key unfairness if these are your only children.  You do not get to learn from your mistakes for the second child and you do not get to have another round of holding a little baby for those precious months.  I know many of my relationships have suffered a little since the arrival of Zoe and Jude, but I hope my real friends can understand that every minute with my babies is a minute gone, and every minute gone is one less minute Josh and I get to be a mommy and a daddy to two infants who are swiftly on their way to toddlerhood.  Like I said, more kids are not in the picture for us, but now we can see first-hand how minds can change quickly…we are now parents of 10-month-olds, and the babies in them are leaving too quickly for our liking.

“Moving” On…

Well, Jude crawled at 7 months, and then crawled well at 8 months once she started cruising.  At 9 months old that little pipsqueak took her very first steps.  I am not a big development pusher…would’ve been cool (for me) if she was content sitting and playing for a few weeks more, especially since Zoe has been slower going, but there is no stopping this girl.  I did not “work with her” ever on this…she is just a feisty thing.  She is quite tiny at 14.2 lbs and it looks a little odd, but is she ever filled with joy all day long as she scrambles around the room finding everything to play with but her toys.  Zoe sat content for weeks as Jude did her thing.  Josh and I laughed at how amiable and satisfied she was.  I guess she got tired of watching Jude because in less than a month, she has went from sitting unassisted to pulling up to cruising, with an obstinence and temper to match her new ambitions.  Then, a day before Jude took her first steps, Zoe starts crawling on all fours as if she had been doing it for months…no dragging…actual crawling all over the place.  We were just stunned.  She is not fast yet, but sturdy and steady and very motivated.  I was awestruck.  When Zoe cruises, she practices letting go, and at her current pace I would guess her to be taking her first steps very soon.  I feel only relief for her newfound ambition, as I felt sorry for her getting so frustrated not being able to get to where Jude would go.  And I could not help her, which was very hard.  In this case, twin peer pressure has had its advantages.  Now we are really scrambling to baby proof our 100+ year house and it has its challenges.  Not to mention a daily explanation to our dog Bo and to Zoe and Jude on why they cannot play with each other yet.  If they had their way people would think I had either three dogs or three kids.  I think Bo thinks these girls are his kids.  We have some fun years to come, and unfortunately, I will be forever on the lookout for the best and fastest way to clean dog hair on an hourly basis. 

To Eat or Not to Eat

At 10 months our breastfeeding journey ended.  This journey has been incredible but I have lost my stamina.  Jude fell off of her weight curve at the 9 month check-up and Dr. Brandon and I agreed that we should try supplementing with formula.  Well, I knew where this was going.  Jude loves that bottle – always has.  The minute she started was the minute our nursing relationship ended.  She humored me for over 9 months, exclusively nursing except for one night-time bottle of pumped milk that daddy gave her.  In the end, she was too active and I could not fight with her all day to feed when she wanted to do everything else.  She is so impatient.  I probably should have done this a month ago but she is a happy child and I figured she was getting enough calories.  Brat.  Anyway, it is a good feeling seeing her suck down those vitamins.  She feeds herself with her bottle laying in her boppy on the floor while she can conveniently keep an eye on her toys.  As far as Zoe, I never could have guessed she would join her sister because she never took a bottle and the few times she got very little down.  Three things happened.  One, she is very alert and competitive, to put it bluntly.  She saw Jude with that bottle throughout the day and wanted one too.  She fought me tooth and nail.  Two, the week she decided she was done she bit me no less than 25 times.  I am not exaggerating—I have my husband as witness.  Josh was pleading with me to just give it up.  I kept saying it was a phase but that Zoe is stubborn.  Lastly, we drove to/from Illinois for Thanksgiving and Christmas, and we just got off on everything.  Feeding was a nightmare and made our journeys longer and it was so easy to have feeding helpers there.  Things just kind of progressed in this direction.  Mentally, I have had a lot of internal conflict about it, because all the diehard breastfeeding websites insist these types of distractions can be dealt with, and after all, I was so close to my goal of one year.  And could Zoe really want to be done with our special bond?  This was supposed to be harder to do, right?  Well, I guess I have two independent daughters already!  Anyone who knows me knows I have a hard time letting go…I am a competitive person, with myself more than anyone else.  And at first I was just going to pump all of their milk, or at least more than half of it, whatever my body would grant me, but then reality set in.  I HATE pumping, more than anything this whole year, finding times to pump while taking care of two babies has been the hardest challenge.  And I have never gotten accustomed to the fact that when I have time to myself I first have to take time to pump and steam the parts, etc, etc, etc.  So, after looking in the mirror, blocking out all outside influences, dynamics, and opinions that we mothers have to endure, I decided that it was really, really awesome to throw a couple of bottles their way and watch them feed themselves while starting to learn what it is like to have my body back.  Can I just say…formula x2 babies = EXPENSIVE…glad to have made it this long from the financial aspect alone.

As far as solids…well, we were sailing and we hit a wall.  The last couple of days my peanut and potato have refused to eat practically everything.  They think they are hilarious when they spit it out immediately, much to our chagrin.  I have been told this is a phase…nothing like getting a well-thought out meal together only to be spit on the ground and mashed in their hair.  …and update since writing this…girls eating again…it was a phase…but refuse to eat mashed up chicken…grr…can you blame them?

As far as teeth for eating this food….still nothing coming to speak of.   Hopefully they won’t be toothless for their first grade pictures.

Sleeping

Jude and Zoe now sleep through the night!!!!  Bedtime is at 6:30pm/7:00pm and they are up at 6 or 6:30am.  Coincidentally, the STTN started with the introduction of formula…hmmm…why didn’t I start this sooner?  Anyway, we no longer rock them to sleep.  We just lay them down and leave the room.  I have to say our evenings are truly ours again, but Josh and I still really miss rocking them to sleep.  Still, many nights we would practically rock ourselves to sleep and we really enjoy having somewhat of a night life again.  We go to bed between 9 and 10 pm to get up at 5ish, trying to get an hour to prepare for their awakening, which can be an event in itself.

Our current schedule:

6:30 a.m. – up for day and bottle, then play time

8:00 a.m. – solids and another small bottle

8:30 a.m. – nap #1

10:00 a.m. – bottle and play

11:30 a.m. – solids and play

1:00 p.m. – bottle and down for nap #2

3:00 p.m. – small bottle and play, walk through park if nice

4:30 p.m. – bottle (daddy home at 5:00 pm)

5:15 p.m. – solids dinner

6:00 p.m. – bath, bottle and down for bed by 6:30/7:00

Playing

These girls love to play with their toys and with each other.  They talk to each other with babbles and love each other with kisses.  Alternatively, they steal toys and taunt each other, intentionally push and pull one another, and try to tattle to mommy already.  It is so funny to watch and scary if this is a window into the future.  Zoe is a bully in a physical way.  She makes it her mission to grab every single thing Jude picks up one after the other, then proceeds to hold it and stare at Jude (or me) to see what reaction she gets with those big eyes.  Most of the time Jude just keeps going and ignores her, but when she does take her toy back, Zoe looks at me and lets out this yell as if I didn’t see that she was the original thief.  Jude will get close to Zoe with a toy and many times hold it out in front of her only to pull it just far enough away that Zoe misses it with her swiping hands.  Jude just laughs and does it over and over again…she has made a game of the taunting.  Soon there will be no need for Zoe to catch up to Jude, but for now she follows her every direction—she cannot miss out on anything.  (update: this week Jude no longer puts up with Zoe and freely pushes back and fights for her toy…suddenly Zoe is not as interested in the toy if it is going to be that challenging…heh heh)  If Jude acts silly, so does Zoe.  If Jude cries, Zoe will too.  It is amazing to see them so close.  My favorite is when one naps later and then gets up to be reintroduced to the other one for play time.  They are so happy to see one another…it warms my heart.  And they love hugging and kissing when I ask them to…unless they bump heads, which can happen frequently.  They like playing patty cake, so big, waving hello/bye bye, and clapping hands to exclaim “yay”.  And they love using this little walking push toy to get around.  Lastly, these girls LOVE to dance and jiggle and it doesn’t matter if you are playing music or just start snapping your fingers, they are into the beat. 

Being Parents

I will not speak for Josh on most things because I don’t like others speaking for me.  But I feel confident in saying that we have both been forever changed by this parenting experience.  I often wonder what I would have done differently.  I know we have held them as much as possible…and we are probably lucky they are not harder to put to bed, but maybe they were until now.  Who knows…those early months were such a blur and yet we tried to make every moment last.  Life just happens.  I remember that 6-8 weeks was very hard, as was 4-6 mos, but even now it doesn’t seem like it was that hard…heh heh.  Things are starting to get really very very fun for me, but especially for daddy.  Jude and Zoe love when you lay in the middle of their play area so they can climb on you.  The love playing with daddy’s hair and eyebrows, and those little nails can be razor sharp according to Josh’s shrieks at any given time.  They really love taunting daddy at meal time too which makes me giggle.  I know how this is going to play out.  Daddy is the teddy bear and I am the enforcer.  This was always how it was going to be…I accepted that long ago.  We have started taking pockets of time to spend individually with Zoe and Jude.  Josh took Jude grocery shopping last weekend while I went for a walk and to a coffee shop with Zoe.  Upon reporting back to each other, we talked about how fun it was focusing on one, and I think this will be continued in the future.  Josh and I still look at each other and are dazed by all the events of the year.  Almost like this is all a dream.  I know I will miss this first year a lot, but we still have two whole months to go.  I am going to make the most of it.

We are Our Own People

The paragraphs below are not meant for comparisons, but to keep with the spirit of treating my girls as individuals.  Most people compare them a lot, even though they don’t see them a lot.  I think what they are trying to do is point out their uniqueness from each other, even if it comes off as pigeon-holing their personalities when they are only 9 months old.  I mean, is referring to Zoe as “the sweet one” implying that Jude is not sweet?  They couldn’t be farther off target.  Still, I don’t think much about the subject – I wonder if I will when I know they comprehend comments.  They are very loved by everyone and twins are a fascinating observation.  I hope to encourage their strengths and interests and I am so grateful that they are so very different.  Sometimes I wonder if they will even be noticed as twins when they are older.  Anyway, a few words…

A Little about Jude Isabella

At 9 months old Jude is a character, a true “card.”  She is a pile of laughs all day long.  If she finds a pillow, soft bed or cushy mommy or daddy, she will launch her entire body as if she is sure a big pile of feathers are waiting.  You have to really watch for this.  She loves to giggle, squeal, and laugh.  I remember when she had colic and cried a lot.  A lot of people referred to her at that time as the unhappy one.  Now she is just silly and fun all day long (except naps.)  She taunts Zoe, but in a kind way.  It is hard to describe…she is not mean about it…and eventually she lets Zoe have her way because she is generous.  She is very perceptive and hard to sneak around.  She doesn’t pay attention to when you come and go, but what you are holding upon your return.  She is nosy and sneaky.  She doesn’t need sleep, according to her.  She is a real pain to nap, and can outlast all of us.  She loves giving huge, wet, open-mouthed kisses on the cheek.  She is smart, always thinking.  Jude says “buh buh” when she waves bye bye and “muh muh” when she is signing more.  She also says “meh meh” when I ask if she wants milk.  She says mama and dada, and “go go go” constantly.  That is our fault – a fun game we played with her to get her to use her push car.  Beyond that she has found she can make the highest pitch sound I have ever heard and prefers to communicate in that language most of the day.  When Jude is hungry, she is impatient, she knows what she wants.  All other times though she demonstrates patience in listening to her favorite book, to playing patty cake, or singing a song.  She has a great attention span.  I could go on and on about my little darling…she is a golden little girl. 

A Little about Zoe Ella

Oh, my precious Zoe.  Zoe says every single thing with a smile, even unhappy things.  Have you ever seen someone voicing anger or sadness but still smiling?  That is Zoe.  The biggest, most beautiful, cutest, wide, open-mouthed toothless smile you have ever seen.  A very social child on the outside, the wheels are definitely turning inside.  When she wants help for something she can do, I tend to think instead of being lazy, she is being smart, which is why I will not move her to standing when I know she can do it on her own.  She just gives me a look, smiles, and proceeds to stand up anyway without my help like I know she can.  Zoe loves the company of other children.  She is very social.  She is also, however, a toy stealer…and no one is going to push her around.  She is small for her age, 15 lbs 4 oz, but solid and strong.  Zoe studies things and one day decides to do them.  She is VERY observant of everything, which is why you can’t trust her.  She is the girl who sits in the same place to play for weeks and in one 30 second dash when I go to the bathroom, ends up in another room.  I learned my lesson.  Zoe has mastered her fine motor skills, using her thumb and forefinger meticulously on both hands.  She is very careful about it.  Zoe LOVES to sing.  I assume that is what she is doing.  Whenever I have music on she is just babbling something in long vowel sounds.  There is no tune but she is definitely trying to sing.  Zoe is just cute.  She knows how to cock her head to the side to act shy and she is genuinely happy to see you and wants a kiss every few seconds just to make sure you are not going anywhere.  And she loves loves loves her stuffed animals.  Right now she is in love with her bunny and her new dolly she got for Christmas from Grandma.  She must have them both for sleeping.  However, I had 10 stuffed animals in her cribs yesterday and she was trying to grab them all and hug them at once.  She is my little ray of sunshine and her smile warms my heart so much, I never have a problem getting up to see her face – it washes the tiredness away.  My little Zoe bean.

 Just for Fun

So my grandmother sent a photo of my girls into Woman’s World magazine, a favorite in my family.  She just got word that they will print the picture in an upcoming issue.  So cute, and my grandma was so excited!  She gave the $50 to them and we are all anxious to see the caption they write for the picture.

Memories to ponder…

• hearing them play upstairs when they wake up and chatter with each other  (Listen hear to the MP3 file, )
• walking into their room and seeing two heads standing and staring at me over their cribs guiltily, and then breaking out in squeals because they know their freedom is seconds away
• Slobbery, open-mouthed kisses
• Sitting in the Elmo chair and how it cracks them up when he jiggles
• When they fight over a toy and both look up to me to “choose” the winner of the toy
• Final nights rocking them to sleep and the feeling of them on my shoulder
• The sound of high pitched screams of communication – I wonder what they are trying to say
• The first time they were able to play peek-a-boo by themselves

A New Turn

I have been really lame at writing this blog as of late and updating my smugmug picture site.   By the time I post I am writing these long paragraphs.  I am going to try to start posting much more frequently with little moments, rather than a book.  Thanks to all of you who continue to follow and check-up on us.   I wish I could see you all more!  As of today, check-out many new pics at www.maletz.smugmug.com.  Love to you all!

Video of laughing…no more to say…

8 months old on November 10th

Zoe Ella and Jude Isabella turned 8 months old yesterday and just like that we are two-thirds of the way to a year.  EEK!!!!  I am just taking in every single second now as it is flying and my babies are becoming less baby…that just made me tear up a little.  Yes, it is easier now!  The benefits of having two is starting to become a reality.  They can go for short bursts playing together on the floor and I can supervise but also fold laundry or quickly vacuum or whatever – as long as they see me.  They babble to each other and crack each other up.  I wish I knew what they were saying.  When I have music playing Zoe is constantly letting out these long vocalizations.  I can’t help but think she is trying to sing…I am actually positive that is what she is doing.  Jude just became a little more vocal this week, babbling “da da” constantly.  Both have found a scream…heh heh.  You never know when it might come but it is loud…whew!  They are just too too cute for words and my one sadness is that no one gets to witness this with me every day. 

All Jude wants to do is find something to pull up on.  People always say she is going to walk soon but I am in no hurry and I really do think it will be a couple months yet.  She is all gusto with little balance.  She topples a bit but not hard – she has figured out how to hold those tummy muscles tight so that she kind of just folds down to the floor if she must.  She drags herself but will crawl a couple inches – I keep thinking she is going to pick up crawling at any second.  Jude no longer needs the boppy around her while sitting and that is awesome!  I can just sit her down and be done instead of lugging stuff around to cushion her.  I love it.  My Zoe dear still will topple a lot while sitting so I have to have that boppy around her at all times.  She just throws herself back when she is tired.  Zoe is making her move slowly but surely.  She is good at rolling to where she needs to get too.  This method of moving around is extremely entertaining and she is a silly girl, always smiling 24/7.  I have really come to appreciate her goofiness.  Both girls are fantastic eaters.  Although breastmilk is still main nutrition, we are getting ready to evolve to three solid meals a day.  They are BFing 7 times a day and eating solids every morning and at night and believe it or not, they still want to eat more.  That is thrilling of course…seeing babies eat is a very happy feeling.  

As for sleeping I am still up for 1 middle-night feed.  Zoe has had a few STTNs (sleep through the nights) but Jude seems to need to know that I am around just in case.  I think by 9 months I will instill night weaning.  I am just not ready to do it yet if they need it, or maybe I just need to see them in the middle of the night because I miss them.  Although I feel that all-night sleep is coming soon to our house and I couldn’t be more thrilled – the sacrifice has been worth it – it is only for a few months right?  I am starting to believe that babies that STTN are a rarity, even though people claim it happens, I think they are full of it!  I don’t think it is the norm.  Still no teeth yet, and no physical signs besides teething!  I feel no bumps at all…ugh!  I don’t care that much except they chew all day long…poor things.

I have my first twin request.  The girls are getting older now and many folks near and far have consistently referred to them as “the twins”, which has been cute.  But now, being a fiercely protective twin mom, and yes,  a type-A personality, I have a request.  In my vast reading of multiples this is a piece of advice I want to act upon now.  It is time for me to request they be referred to by their names when addressed or spoken of.  They do recognize their names now.  We are starting down the path of ensuring their individuality – something they will have to deal with their whole lives.  So, here we go. 

Anyway, I am positive I have more to say but Zoe and Jude are awake and are actually wanting to come down and play – imagine that!  I posted a few new pics on www.maletz.smugmug.com.  The girls were Mario and Luigi for Halloween – fun times.  Check out video below – my little sweethearts.  Warms my heart.

Hope you all are well – take care!